Gentle Self-Care for the Empowered

Crazy how in spite of your extraordinary efforts to tweak things up, life isn’t where you want it to be yet.

Or you’re holding yourself to a standard that hikes up your stress and rains on your joy. And isn’t it too easy to compare yourself to others who seem to be managing it All. I can relate.

Every year around this time I come into my busiest months with a schedule that too easily blows right out of the water. Memories of past mid-years are still fresh – what worked, what didnt, what turned out better, and what were total disasters. I have rich examples for each and when I drill deep for the common theme, it’s always this: come back to basics and simplify

Small steps every day – consistent + regular = solid, sustainable healthy change-ups. So if you are itching for a breakthrough, my biggest encouragement is rather than make sweeping changes that are likely not to stick and instead overwhelm you, let’s test drive a few shifts with your self-care | self-love routine instead. Deal?   

Change doesn’t have to be big or intense to work. Life is too-packed already. Instead of loading up your to-do list with more pressure, take a jump start by trying some ideas below. And to my well-meaning Perfectionist Friends, here’s an urgent plea … please, stop getting in your own way and relax.  Rather than the Perfection mantra, take on the new mantra of Progress. There is no rule book out there that says we have to do these things 100% to succeed. Truth is … perfectionism is a desperate plea to create certainity, and – guess what – it doesn’t exist. Instead the big P+C drains us of valuable reserves of energy, disconnects ‘happy’, and lines our faces all before time – or does that only happen to me!  When we start from extreme and seek extreme results, we automatically set ourselves to faili and feel extremely disappointed. The spiral down starts all over again. 

Slow. Easy. Steady my Glorious Friend. This is no race, this is growing.

On a recent 7 Days of SelfCare, I loved the thought of carrying on and promoting each day to a week-long focus. In short time, here’s what I discovered – this week was so different to last and I know this coming week is going to change-up all over again. I more conscious of what works, what’s not, and I’m excited about what else I’m going to discover, refine and tweak ever so subtly this coming week. I feel so liberated learning healthy practices that nurture my body, fuel my energy, and feed my soul. 

Now for you – pick one or two points to focus on.

Keep in mind that these suggestions aren’t about ‘never’ doing something ever again.  If you slip up, Congratulations! Going back to same old habits is what ‘Welcome to Being Human’ is all about. I’m dialled into being kind with me, being compassionate with me, and cutting myself some slack. And when I forget, it’s time to go right back to remembering again. For you too. Keep on practicing these tips one day at a time!  It feels SO good to give your body top thought to want to go back to those old perfectionst ways. So good that I’m excited to bring more value and depth to each of these beautiful selfcare | selflove tools. Here’s to flying, bumping along, and flying again with each #selfcarekey for the next 7 weeks … so glad you are joining me! 

This is the perfect week for taking beautiful care of your body. 

And you can do this any way you choose… 

Start your day with introspection – light a candle, revelling in the quietness for 10mins. Nourish your thirst with a favourite hot drink, read or listen to something uplifting. That’s it. The world is chaotic as it is. It can be too easy to turn on the news and feel the energy seep right out of your body. Fill your tank so you have something to give from, even if it means getting up 15mins earlier. There’s no right or wrong here – that you develop and practice your own ritual is spot on. 

Nourish your body first thing in the morning so you set the tone for the rest of the day. Water, green or orange juice, a breakfast that’s packed with a healthy burst of nourishment that feeds your beautiful body rather than depletes it.  If you love your coffee, you don’t need to give it up – instead cut back to one and have your juice first. 

While you may not have a full blown gym workout and regardless of what the weather is doing, each of us can create 10min bursts through the day to shake this glorious body.  This energises my brain and cranks up my creativity. Jump start even a 10min walk, I love to watch how my game spirals up and out. 

Empower this wellness warrior – our physical bodies are a reflection of our thoughts. It’s fascinating how a regime of physical actions is not the complete equation because your body is always a pure reflection of thoughts you think.  It’s crazy how most of us approach physical well-being in a backwards manner. When we experience an unhealthy body – any part – we often let this physical condition dictate our mental attitude. I know when I’m in pain, I’m feeling frustrated, or I’m worrying, or I’m quick to anger, or I’m feeling fear. What I really want is for this condition to improve so my emotional space can improve.

Focus on good-feeling objects is the most effective way of providing the best environment for my body to thrive. And yes, relief always feels good. When I’m thirsty, my body feels the relief of something refreshingly pure to drink. When I’m hungry, its a relief to eat something wholesome and nourishing. When I’m tired, it is a relief to rest. But if I wait until my body is dehydrated before I drink, or my hunger is famished, or my tiredness is overwhelming, this gorgeous body can get far out of balance all too quickly. It is much easier to maintain a healthy physical balance than it is to recover it after losing it. 

In this same way it is a great idea to drink wholesome fluids when you feel thirsty and maintain your well-being long before dehydration is experienced. It’s equally important to change thoughts and release resistance that always gets in the road at the first indicator of negative stuff. While I can withstand negative emotion for long periods of time, it’s not an optimal experience for the cells of my beautiful physical body. The more good-feeling thoughts I focus upon, the more I allow the cells of my body to thrive.  

Do this and you’ll notice marked improvement in your clarity, your agility, your stamina and vigor. 
Stop with me now and breath your way into –

– feelings of appreciation

– into feelings of love

– into feelings of eagerness and joy

– This is exactly what releases the resistance. And voila, now you are allowing well-being.

Going the wrong way

My negative emotion always lets me know.  I always know it’s time to stop and relax into it instead of pushing against. Turning and going with the flow is more like it.  My story will often rock like this …

“I live in a healthy body. My body has the resources to right itself. It’s not about some headache or pain or illness jumping into me. It’s about me holding wellness out. I hold wellness out by pushing against all kinds of things. I don’t get ill because I focus on the pain every day or the … (fill in the spaces here for you) every day or the …. every day, etc.  I get these things because I find things to worry about. Because I find things to push against. Because I feel guilty and blame-full and angry. In others words I hold myself in this negative vibe because long ago I disregarded my own internal guidance that showed me that this is the best way to clarity, this is the way to health, and this is the way to abundance.  Instead I listened to doubt and guilt, or I listened to that person and this one who said ‘hard work and struggle is what it is all about. You’re wrong. You need to feel embarrassed. You need to feel guilty. You need to redeem yourself. You need to accept the inappropriateness of you … ” 

Here’s truth 

In the moment that you or anyone else convinces you to accept even the smallest amount of inappropriateness in you, you are pointing in the direction of potential illness.  It is a feeling of loving yourself and worthiness is what is equivalent to health. If you don’t love you, this resistance will show up in some kind of way, usually in the weakest part of your body. You absolutely know when you are flowing towards wellness and you absolutely know when you are flowing against.

Make peace with where you are

Thriving is what is natural for you so here’s restarting and taking time right now to lovingly talk to you … 

This beautiful body tries for you every day no matter how you choose to look after it. Even when it doesn’t do what you wish it could, it still tries so heroically. So thank your body. Thank you for your beautiful heart that keeps steady in its beating, even when it is hurting or feeling rejected and not enough. Thank you for every answer your beautiful gut and intuition has given you – whether you chose to listen to it or not, it never skipped a beat. Thank you to your beautiful body – no matter its shape, size, amount of cellulite or wrinkles – thank it for loving you back even when you didn’t know how to love you.  Thank you for every time you recovered when you pushed you past your limits, when you pushed your physical body, when you stretched your waking hours when sleep would have felt good and yet you determinedly, doggedly achieved one more thing before going to bed. Thank the gorgeous wisdom of your body for today and simply waking up. Thank you for getting up, knowing exactly what it needs to do to achieve all the things ou want and thrive out here in the world. This beautiful body tries for you every day no matter how many less-than-healthy things you say to it, feed it, or do to it.  Even when it doesn’t do what what you wish it could, it still tries so heroically. It still does it best to breathe and live for you.  So thank your body. And tomorrow too – in fact let’s do this for the rest of this week.  

Breathe. Smile. I love you.

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